Words

Words

Not but shapes bound together

Attached like a .riff

.of

.notes

.l.i.n.k.e.d

by one musical harmony

Music is my boyfriend.

Dating has been a huge issue in the lives of a lot of people I know lately, including me. Being so close to Valentine's Day, of course it's an issue. It's a time of the year when couples can be as mushy as they want and they can have an extremely good reason to spend lots of money on their significant other. It's also a time of the year where the singles walk around saying, "Bah. This holiday was created by candy companies and gift shops."

I had a conversation today about the concept of dating. I told my friend I had found a funny quote in a book I was reading that practically defined how I felt right now. That quote was from Brett Milano's book titled Vinyl Junkies: Adventures in Record Collecting. The quote is from Roger Manning, NYC singer-songwriter: "Who collects records? Mostly people that don't have a dating life."

Now, I definitely wouldn't call myself a hardcore record collector - seeing as how I don't have the money or transportation to acquire these records at the moment. However, I do like to think that I have a pretty good record collection so far (19-years-old, common). I definitely don't have any obscure psychedelic records that would put me under the "nerd" category. Let's see... I have some AC/DC, Aerosmith, Boston, Beatles, Chicago, David Bowie, Def Leppard, Eagles, Elton John, Glenn Frey, Genesis, Sammy Hagar, Don Henley, plenty of Journey, Judas Priest, Molly Hatchet, Steve Perry, the Police, Ratt, REO Speedwagon, Rolling Stones, Steely Dan, Rod Stewart, Styx, Van Halen, and Whitesnake. So you can make your own assumptions about that collection of just 44 records.

But back to dating. I told my friend Manning's quote, and he proceeded to ask me whether my lack of dating life was by choice or not. I hadn't really thought about this question up until this point. I replied saying I definitely wasn't against dating; however, I hadn't been seeking out anything really. He told me, in so many words, that I should date around if I wanted to. If I was attracted to someone, then I should go for it. However, I don't think this is how I want to go about it. Instead of dating around and whatnot, I would rather get to know someone as a friend and then proceed to either have a relationship with that person to see where it goes or simply be friends (or not, if I've really pissed someone off, or vice versa).

I told my friend that I would definitely want to date someone that could put up with my useless music trivia and always bringing up what's going on in the music business, and getting that person's opinion (of course, I don't have a one track, useless mind. This wouldn't be the only thing that I talk about with this potential relationship...so...if I turned you off with that last sentence then come back. Keep reading. Oh, and call me sometime *wink*).

Then, the conversation began to take a turn that I figured I wouldn't agree with. My friend started saying how if I wanted something, I should get it, and if I wanted to do something, then I should do it. So, I asked him, "What about obligations and responsibility?" He replied with an example, using the class we were in. He said that even if I said I didn't want to be in the class, that I was there, so I obviously did, since it furthers me in my education and gets me that much closer to my desired degree. I agree with that. However, he said that he didn't like when people used the term 'selfish' in a negative way. Well, I have been brought up to understand that selfishness is not something that I want to surround myself with. He said that being selfish is the best thing someone can do for themselves, and that worrying about yourself and caring about your needs should be above everything else.

Now, I'm not sure if I took this the way I should have, but I immediately disagree, because I definitely have family and friends that I will always put before myself. My status as a daughter, sister, friend, etc., is much more important than my status as a student.

So, what does this have to do with dating? Everything. I don't want to date around just to date around because it's fun and enjoyable and I get to meet people that I like and/or could be attracted to. If I'm going to go on a date I want to know that person prior, whether it is from a job, a class, etc. Then I want to pursue a potential relationship with this person if it's right. From there I want to know the qualities of this person inside and out. After all, we are in college, and don't most people meet their life partner in these years? I'm not saying that I want to get married anytime soon. That's definitely not the case. But it is in the future. I want it to be in my future. So, that's what I'm looking for.

What does this have to do with music? Everything. Music is my passion. I want to share that passion with the people I love and the people I care about.

Perhaps this Valentine's Day if you're single, like me, maybe you can just go to a great concert, sit around and listen to some good music. Just do something you love with the people you love. Love isn't just for couples. Just the same, if you're in a relationship, you don't necessarily have to spend a lot of money just because it's a holiday. Go sit at a coffee shop at a table for two, watch a live band, and remember the good times - past, present, and future.